your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
