I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
