We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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