i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
