Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
