Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
