OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
