I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
