somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
