you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
