I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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