I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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