I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
