i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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