i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
