I hope mine doesn't look like that
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How does one acquire holy water?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
