I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
