Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
