ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
