I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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