whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
