So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
