I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
