I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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