I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
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