if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
