so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
