i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
