i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
