We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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