If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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