What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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