That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
