I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
