In America we eat man semen.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
