wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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