you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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