it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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