Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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