Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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