nut hugger
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
