Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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