today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
