so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
