I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Someone came in the potted fern
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
