I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
