sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Couch. On fire.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
