it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
