my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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