I'm laying in your front yard are you home
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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