He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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